Women’s Day, huh? I think I have begun to detest this day. I’m not usually a Debbie Downer and I hate it when people don’t celebrate these special days and occasions. In fact, the cynics around me annoy me to no end. But somehow, my mind can’t stop feeling like it’s all just a farce. Not because it’s only one day, I mean that too – technically we do deserve a lifetime. But because we only feel strong, powerful, resilient and happy when hoardings choose to remind us so, and large corporations pamper us with discounts. On other days, we still say the same old archaic things. “Women bosses suck”, “I prefer boys because hanging out with them means less drama”, “Women drivers are the worst”, “Obviously girls only have to adjust after marriage”
NO.
JUST NO.
I refuse to part of this pity party/double standard now. I cannot do it anymore. One of my favourite things about starting this blog is the fact that I have a space to voice myself and talk about all my feminist leanings. Yes, I am a feminist. An unapologetic one at that. Being a feminist, FYI, doesn’t mean you hate men and would rather grow your leg hair than shave to appear lady like. Being a feminist simply means that you want and expect equal rights for men and for women. Though the not shaving part sounds like super fun. But you heard me? Equal rights! Now as a country we’ve come a long, long way in this department. Think of our Mothers’ generation. Did they get to live even half the life we are living? It would be silly to wait for your answer, so I’m just going to go ahead and presume it’s “no”. They had to fight hard for every choice and every decision. They had to even take permission to work. I can’t even wrap my head around this one. We, on the other hand, have it so much easier. We drive, we study, we work, we click selfies, we make duck faces, we blog, we drink, we Instagram our food; wise choices really. No, I’m not here to hate on us. I’m just here to point out that we can honestly do whatever the heck we want.
So what’s the problem?
The problem is we’ve had things so easy that we forget to be sensible girls – let alone fight for women’s rights. Forget wanting to be equated with men, we don’t even want to be equated with each other. We body shame like no one’s business. I’ve heard girls say this myself, “OMG she does not have the figure to be wearing that”, or “She’s gotten too skinny. It looks horrible”. Umm, who made you the medical expert around here? Each woman’s body is her own Goddamn business. It’s not your place (or mine) to comment on it. If we don’t stop doing this, the boys will never follow suit. We glorify size zero as if it’s the best idea we girls have ever had. Darling, we women were born to be heroes, not zeroes. Never forget that.
We continue to expect our dads to pay for our whole weddings. Nothing gets my gall like this one. Are you not his most precious treasure? If he’s willing to give you away, he’s honestly doing more than enough. No, that car for the groom’s family is not necessary. Stop shitting yourself, it’s not a “gift”, it’s dowry. And you’re choosing to indulge in the ridiculous practice. Don’t even try to tell me it’s not your choice. If you’re old enough to get married, you are old enough to put your foot down.
Also, you get married and just like that you are “paraaya dhan”. You have no responsibilities towards your own parents? Do they not need your support – emotionally and financially? Do all your duties end at your husband’s house!? Umm, sorry missy, that’s not how it works. Be the daughter your parents deserve. It’s not that hard. Your husband’s family will understand. They better.
Don’t surround yourself with frenemies, have true and real girl friends in your life. Then see how there’s no drama. Don’t say all this “boys are less drama” nonsense. I can say this without batting an eyelid; your girls will be by your side in a heartbeat when you need them.
Don’t hate on women bosses, aim to become them. Intelligent, meticulous, strong, fearless and powerful…watch them and channel your inner Girl Boss early on in life. If you have examples in front of you of women like that, consider yourself really lucky.
Don’t hate on women at all. Because we are all women and we are all frickin’ amazing. There is no prototype of who you should be. There’s really no such thing. It pains me to see just how easily we all doubt ourselves. This Women’s Day, let’s vow not to do that. Let’s love ourselves and love each other. And let’s change things in our power. These dumb views about women, for instance. They should stop with our generation. When we procreate, we should pass on only progressive views to our children, along with vital information like which are the best Instagram filters, of course 😉
So on a much lighter and celebratory note (hey, I’m in the mood now!)…Here’s hoping the wings of your eyeliner are always perfect, here’s hoping you feel content in whatever body you have, here’s hoping you reach the pinnacle of success, here’s hoping you never run out of wine, here’s hoping you have a cramps-free period, here’s hoping you eat an entire bar of chocolate – totally guilt free, here’s hoping you hit the Zara Sale on Day 1 and get everything you want at 70% off. (Now that’s some wish, huh?!) And whether you’re single, married, in love or looking for love – here’s hoping that you’re having the time of your fucking life.*
Happy Women’s Day!
*Sorry if my foul language offended you. The thing with me is; I don’t spew profanities like a man. I enunciate them clearly, like a fucking lady. 😉
GIFS Courtesy: tumblr, giphy
Women driverzz suksss. fAct. But newayzz Happy Woman Day.
Dear Arundham,
Thank you for the wish. But there are good drivers and bad drivers…it has nothing to do with the sex of the person. I happen to know a lot of crappy male drivers, but I don’t use such generalizations. I’m assuming you are smart and educated and urge you not to either. Thank you 🙂
YA educated. Done Btec diploma course from Banaras Hindu University. Lots many time I see bad driver going left right watever, ladies driving. You are say that male man sitting with ladies telling to drive badly??? Mite be. Agree.
Enjoying the blog. Keeps going !!
Hey smrithi,nicely put. It’s just that I have one problem with your letter. Your open letter is addressed to all Indian women,But in reality you are actually addressing just an iota of Indian women.say about 1%. More than 80% of women in this country still suffer from gender inequality. Still have no access to education, still have to cover their faces when they walk outside.These women may not even know the F of femininism.Let alone ,fighting for their rights.Anyway,I cannot dictate to you what to write so i wont. But as a avid reader of your blog,i ak sure i can leave my comments. your views and expressions although very well put can only be pointed towards a few indian women who are privileged to be in a state of luxury where technically femininism may just be a literary term to them.
Hi Priyanka,
Firstly, thank you for taking the time out to leave a comment. I’m so happy to know you read my blog regularly. 🙂
To address what you have said, I agree with you a 100%. But on a realistic note, I know the audience that is reading this blog. Most are urban and have full access to all new age facilities, amenities, and privileges. My aim through the content of the blog is to address people like you and me, who still (despite having so many things on a platter) choose to say and do things in such an archaic manner. Much like the examples stated in the post, I have heard women say ridiculous things and put other women down. There is no right or wrong way to bring about social change. The point is, in my small way, I’ve tried to start somewhere. Hence I focus on very urban everyday issues like body-shaming. I hope this makes sense to you.
I do value your point and understand where you are coming from, though. 🙂
Thank you.I hear it alot too and sometimes I do it myself too..to and for both genders though.
Keep up the good work.:)