The world, according to me, is filled with three different kinds of people.
- Those who are totally disinterested in being nice to people. (Though I’ll never understand why)
- Those who want to be nice to people but totally miss the mark. (They don’t even realize they aren’t being nice)
- And those who are genuinely nice to people. (The best kind of people)
Now let’s be real over here. Nobody is a 100% nice all the time. Obviously, you’re not Santa Claus; being merry is not your full time job. Besides, even if you do really want to be nice, things happen. Sometimes, people are rude and we react to them accordingly. Sometimes, we are in too much in a hurry to be bothered with niceties. And sometimes, we don’t want to be nice for fear of looking weak. Truth is; we all miss that ‘nice’ mark often; more often than we really should. I’m a firm believer in the following quote by Maya Angelou and it’s led me to come up with the following life hacks.
Remember people’s names
We often dismiss forgetting names as a bad memory, but that’s…sorry to say…kind of bullshit. We don’t care enough to remember them. Yes, remembering names comes easier to some people than it does to others; but that’s no excuse to not even bother with it. When people call you the wrong name or don’t remember it when they are talking to you, how does that make you feel? Not so nice, right? I thought so.
Say your Thank Yous and Sorrys.
This is no ‘Maine Pyaar Kiya’ fest. ‘Dosti mein no thank you and no sorry’ is a really dumb idea, if you ask me. Yes, you can come across as a tad, bit formal at times but never ever skip your Thank Yous and Sorrys. Even with the closest people in your life because at the end of the day everyone wants to be valued. Besides, it just comes down to good manners.
Reply to texts and return calls
We are all guilty of this one. We simply “forget” to reply to texts and return calls we’ve missed. No one is saying you need to be on standby 24×7. But if you’ve not been available, have the basic courtesy to call back. Even if you know it is pointless now or even if too much time has passed. Again, it’s just convenient to say you never got time. That’s a lie – you know it, I know it. Let’s move on.
Learn to listen
It’s so damn tempting to butt in and talk when your friend is telling you a story that is relatable AF. The urge to say “girl, I SO know what you’re talking about” or “Omg, the same thing happened to me” can be way-too-real. However, it’s so annoying for the other person because they need you to hear them out at that moment. Probably because they value you and perhaps they want your advice. So just zip it for a bit – first listen, then talk. It’s not that hard.
Reserve your judgements
And while we are on the topic of listening, let’s learn to make friendships a ‘No Judging’ Zone. Its okay to say (in your head) that you would have totally handled the situation differently, but you don’t need to make that person feel stupid. The point is to be nice, remember?
Smile more
I don’t know why some people find this so hard. Just smile man. It’s free and everything. You never know who needs a smile to come their way at any given moment. Also, legend has it: the more you give of these, the more you get. Worth a shot, no?
Be Real
I know what you’re going to think, I’m just plugging in the blog here. But truth is, there are a lot of ‘nice tips’ out there. I could ask you to be kind, generous, pay compliments and so on because it all comes under ‘being nice’. But I’m not going to do that, because part of being nice is being real. If you don’t have something nice to say…don’t say it. Simple. You’d rather keep quiet than pay a fake compliment. You think you are being very clever, but people can see through it. And then you wonder why people don’t like you! Also, if for some reason you had a bad day, and you can’t do the ‘nice’ thing…give a disclaimer to the people you are with. Explain why you’re upset or angry, and that you’re not feeling very ‘nice’ at the moment. In that very real moment of sharing your angst, you’re probably being nicer and more real than you have in a long time.
Just my two cents. What do I know – I’m not a philosopher or anything. Just hoping it helps someone; plus it served as an important reminder to myself. So there you have it, be nice to people. Remember, Karma is a bitch only if you are. 😉
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