Real Talk: 17 Things I Wish I Learned Earlier In Life

 

I know there’s no point in having regrets, and this post isn’t about that at all. Truth is, very few things in life have anything to do with age. If you are younger than me, there’s a chance this will resonate with you. But this could apply to you no matter what age or stage of life you’re in. They are just lessons I’ve picked up along the way – ones that may help you. Ones that I wish I recognized earlier.

 

1. The only free lunches you’ll ever eat are the ones your parents provide you with.

Apart from that, don’t expect anyone to do anything for you for free. There’s a hidden cost there, even if you can’t see it just yet.

 

2. Life almost always doesn’t go as planned but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t plan anything.

Make plans, set goals, work towards them. But know, that that’s the best you can do. Leave room for life to play its own little games and pan out interestingly nonetheless.

3. We’ll always be searching for something – that was how it was intended.

Stop waiting for the mythical ‘struggle period’ to end. The pursuit of happiness is a lifelong one. You may be searching for love, happiness, money, contentment – that’s totally normal. And you are not alone. In fact, that’s pretty much the story of every human alive.

 

4. The mad friends are the best ones.

And you know what they say about mad friends, right? If you’ve got them, you’ve got everything you’ll ever need. I can truly vouch for this one.

5. Opportunities you didn’t imagine will come along.

We are so busy chasing things that we think are perfect for us, we seldom acknowledge new doors that are opening in front of us. Make sure you listen when opportunity knocks, even though it went old school and didn’t exactly ring the bell.

 

6. People will surprise you.

You will be let down by some and you will find yourself letting some down. You’ll love people you thought you never could. You’ll hate with a vengeance you never knew you had. And the strangest part of it all, you will experience indifference. Stone-cold, soul-stirring indifference. Just know that it’s all part of growing up.

7. Love yourself – it’ll solve a lot of problems in your life.

Here comes one of the most important things I wish I knew earlier in life. There really is no substitute to loving yourself. Be your own cheerleader, everyone needs one. Half the problems you have in your life would disappear if you spent the same amount of time loving yourself as you do doubting or despising yourself.

 

8. What fucks us up in life is the idea of how things are ‘supposed’ to be.

Admit it – that’s the number one problem you’re having right? You’re not where you thought you’d be at this point and just the thought of that is messing you up. If you just let go of that idea, you’ll realize how much better things really are. I hate to say it, but you need to know this: IT COULD HAVE BEEN MUCH WORSE.

9. You can have more than one soul mate.

You will feel connections with people. It is bound to happen. Some will remain in your life, some will remain in your memories. Some will be best friends, some will be lovers. Some will be ‘the ones who got away’. It’s okay. You’re not wrong for feeling ‘polyamorous’. You are bound to click with more than one person whether romantically or in any other way. That’s why I believe that we all have more than one soul mate, and that’s really okay.

 

10. You’re never too old or young to make new friends.

When we are younger we totally feel like this-is-it. This is my group, my crew, my ride-or-die people. Yeah well, that’s awesome. But remember to make room for more of these even at later points in life.

11. The hustle should never stop.

Go after what you want and go after it with a vengeance. Your hustle keeps you alive. Never stop trying to make it all happen. The day you stop trying is the only time you’re really failing.

 

12. You’re allowed to wallow and cry.

As long as on the 5^th day of doing that, you get a haircut and move the fuck on.

13. Not everyone is out to dupe you.

True story. People can be friggin’ amazing. Just keep your mind open and vibes positive!

 

14. People talk a lot of crap; it’s a waste of time to be bothered by it.

It’s just what people do. Don’t be bothered by it. Ignore it if you can. If you can’t, then say something in return. But don’t lose sleep over it. Those are some golden Zzzzs you’re never getting back.

15. There will always be someone smarter, prettier, and younger than you.

If I could make this one untrue, I would. Trust me. But I’ve realized that you can’t always justify why you’re better. Just do your thing, work hard, and be yourself – unapologetically. In the words of Dr Seuss: “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

 

16. There’s no shame in getting help.

None at all. It’s the first step to a better life. Recognize whatever area of life you need help in, and go for it. Doctors, counsellors, nutritionists, teachers, etc do what they do because people like us need it. If you were waiting for a sign to start something on that account, consider this one.

 

17. I never promised this list would make you feel better.

But as always, I promised Real Talk. And I think I kept it as real and straight-up as I could. Hope you learn something from it. If nothing else, if any point made you feel like you’re not some freak of nature for thinking this way – then my work here is done. And if you *really* liked the list in an ‘OMG, this is potentially life changing’ way then I’ll be happy to do a Part Two. 🙂 Let me know!

 

Lots of love,

Real Girl

 

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